In Depth

     Yesterday I really did not feel well. I was coming off a rather nasty sinus infection, and I'm still taking antibiotics. In all I haven't been feeling great for a couple of weeks and that has definitely taken a toll on my eating habits.

     Anyway, yesterday my first day trying juicing did not lead to me feeling energized and rejuvenated. Of course I would be a lot to expect of a few glasses of juice in just one day. There is also the detox to consider which, by giving my digestive system a break, gives my body energy to rid itself of lingering toxins.

     I actually felt very tired and had headache all day, but I do not attribute that entirely to the juice. I think these overall health issues contributed to that in addition to bumping my head which surely had something to do with the all-day headache.

     I took a trip to the grocery store this evening and got up the assortment of fruits and vegetables to juice over the next few days.

     I couldn't wait to try another juice, so as soon as I got home I whipped up a very tasty one using a couple of apples, two small white sweet potatoes, some ginger, a rhubarb stalk, and a good handful of kale. After juicing I stirred then about a teaspoon of cinnamon and a dash of both nutmeg and cloves.

    Very tasty! I will say that it didn't yield as much juice as I thought. I only got a little over a cup's worth.

     Also, I had a minor mishap while I was making the juice. I thought I had correctly assembled all the components to the juicer, but I quickly found out when I put my first round of produce down the chute that I have forgotten the compost bin. The scraps splattered all over my counter-top as soon as I turn on the machine. Oops!

     After my juice I did decide to cook some food for dinner. Aside from the two juices had only consumed about 300 calories all day. Still, I stayed healthy and have a nice bowl of spaghetti squash with caramelized onions, lots of garlic And fresh herbs, all talked with a low-sodium tomato basil sauce. Tasty and healthy.

     Since I'm not trying to starve myself and I didn't consume enough juice for a substantial days food, I am very pleased with the days diet. Even if I did go back for seconds and have a yogurt for dessert.
 

Juice

     It's been a month since I last checked in and things haven't been great.

     I've been trying not to overindulge, but as far as cleaning up my diet haven't made much progress. 

     My weight has been mostly on a plateau, though I have made some progress with weighing myself incessantly. 

     My juicer arrived last week and I tried it out for the first time this morning. 

This was my breakfast:

Two carrots, half a cucumber, a handful of strawberries, a few celery stalks, and a small pinch of cilantro.

     Into the juicer, and the end result was actually pretty tasty. I think I'll cut down on the celery, especially since I don't typically care for it anyway. 

    I'm going to ease into it and start incorporating fresh juices into my diet. After I play around with some different recipes I'd like to do a juice cleanse. I'm thinking a 10 day one, and that seems like a pretty big undertaking. No food for 10 days. But, I think that it will kick-start my transition back to a healthier lifestyle. It should result in weight loss and detox, which will be good as well. 

  We'll see how it goes, but I am definitely ready to get back into my healthy routine. 

Struggling

Well, I haven't been entirely successful in maintaining my weight in the year and a half since I last checked in.

So much has happened and I just haven't been consistent in eating well or exercising. I was actually moving in the right direction again, but had a major blip. I went around beating up on myself  "for gaining 10lbs in 5 days".

Of course, I was comparing apples to motorcycles because even when sticking to a good diet and fitness plan you can't really compare a weight taken in the morning before eating, after going to the bathroom, and with no clothes to a weigh-in with an indulgently full belly at the end of the day when I'm dressed to shoes and likely retaining a couple of water pounds due to PMS.

Oh, but I did, even though I knew it wasn't a fair comparison. And that made me angry and depressed. What better way to soothe myself than with food? Lots of cheesy, carb-laden food in unnecessary quantities.

Two weeks out it looks like the real damage was a gain of about 4lbs. I'm not proud of myself, and I knew that I was gaining weight back when I had that freak-out, but it only intensified the damage in the end.

It was a needed wake-up call.

I'm back to keeping myself accountable here, if only to serve as something to record and look back on, and something to keep busy instead of snacking mindlessly.

That's it for now. I'm struggling, but still here.

Equilibrium

     Yesterday I didn't have energy for much of anything today; partly due to my crazy workweek, partly I'm sure, to the the carbohydrate overindulgence on Sunday evening.  I had intended to run errands, get my hair cut, cook and make it to the gym, but it just didn't happen. 

     I did manage to get some housework done, and I kept my eating as clean as possible to help balance out yesterday's destruction. 

     Oatmeal jar in the morning. Lunch was a delicious sweet potato burger on a whole grain ciabatta roll, topped with mashed avocado, sprouts, mushroom, tomato, onion and spinach... and then a side of mashed cauliflower and raw carrot. 

   The burger was from a recipe discovered on Pinterest, and I definitely think it's a success.  Possibly a little sweeter than I'd do next time-- I'll probably omit the agave nectar and add a little more spice. 

    I had another oatmeal jar and some cottage cheese with pretzels, and then a late night bowl of fat free ice cream with some coconut. That puts me slightly over my weight loss calorie goal, but I'm alright with that. 

   I need to not be so hard on myself about that, and focus on getting my sleeping pattern back on track above everything else. 

  Be gentle with yourself, and address your needs, not just your desire to lose weight. 

 That's the main thing about the day after overindulging; finding equilibrium, not punishing yourself by starvation or over-exercise. You'll get back in the groove soon enough. 

   

The First Step

     The internet is a wonderful thing.  Various websites have provided me with invaluable tools and inspiration as I took control of my health and decided to lose the weight I had packed on. 

    There are a handful of fitness inspired blogs I follow, and listen to the trials and triumphs of the strong women who write them.  I read and try healthy recipes. I read weight loss tips and metabolism-boosting tricks.  I tracked calories and points.  Over the course of five months I managed to shed a little over 30lbs.

     It's an incredibly empowering feeling, the whole ordeal is; just to keep pushing yourself and run that extra mile, to do the extra set of crunches, or just to make it to the gym when you would rather get an extra hour of sleep instead.  It feels amazing to chose a homemade salad instead of a fast food pizza.  To opt not to load up on cheese.  To use willpower to say 'no' to the late-night hunger pangs.

   Then last night happens. 

    I did well most of the day.

    A pumpkin oatmeal jar for breakfast, a homemade fruit smoothie, kale and white beans for lunch, a strawberry oatmeal jar for a snack, then some black beans with spinach and carrots and peppers with hummus. Pretty yummy stuff. Healthy and satisfying, or so I thought.

   Then came the trouble. Kate Moss had obviously never eaten cheesecake.

   I, myself had two pieces of cheesecake.  An entire chocolate-covered marzipan log.  At least a dozen untopped, buttery crostinis. And a few servings of pretzels. That was my binge. Probably over to 2000 calories worth of unnecessary carbs.

     Between the amount of sugar in my system and the complete lack of self control and moderation I made myself sick. I know as far as binges go that's not as bad as it could be, but I was so disappointed with myself, especially after doing such a good job all week long.

     I am trying to handle it gracefully and not freak or 'punish' myself, and I certainly didn't purge the food.

    I think the best way to handle it, though, is to deal with it.  Words have always been my way, so this is it.  At the very least another tool in my online arsenal. A diary through the journey of losing the rest of the weight I want gone, and then maintaining that new body.  Something to keep me accountable to myself. And who knows, if this grows to something like the other fitness blogs that have inspired me-- that can serve to inspire others trying to better themselves -- all the better.

  Anyway, this is my corner of the internet now. My ramblings on eating green, clean, being active, getting fit, and all things that go along with it .